Today I’m going to be looking at some free useful Android Apps.
First off here I have Dildroid which can actually control the vibration on your phone, by placing your hand on a little android icon and adjusting his length. It’s perfect for keeping your girlfriend happy on the bus or the train.
For those interested in urban nature, I can recommend Google Pigeon®, by being able to detect pigeons that have been electronically tagged by twitchers or have just been given an ASBO, Google Pigeon is able to show you where all the local groups of pigeons are, so it is really useful for that. However we can’t really think of any actual use for this application, unless of course you’re looking to feed them or make a pie.
The third application is called WhoreDroid®. Now this basically lists where the nearest brothels are to you, it uses your phone’s GPS to see where you are and gives you a list of the nearest brothels, together with their ratings and distances, very nice. Once you have selected the establishment you want to go to, it shows you how to get there using Google maps.
Another great feature of WhoreDroid® is Nearest-Prostitute®, if there is a prostitute in the area with a WhoreDroid® enabled iPhone or Android phone, it can give you their rating, tell you what they will do for what price and if they’re busy and of course show you where they are. The application should be coming to Windows mobile sometime this spring. However we cannot really recommend this feature, as the second time we used it all it found was a pigeon which attacked me, obviously not the sort of bird we were looking for.
Lastly on the list is iTwat for Android, now by holding up your phone’s camera to a crowd of people this application is able point out any twats in the local vicinity by pointing arrows at them, we’re not entirely sure how this works, but we think it just points arrows at anybody the application detects has an iPhone, if you’re a woman with an iPhone I seriously suggest you don’t keep it in your trouser pocket as anybody with this application will seemingly see an big arrow pointing at your privates saying 'twat'!
